The Life's Learning Centre Blog

Relationships: Are you satisfied with your life, love and health or are you just settling?

Posted on: August 13, 2009

Are settling for less than you deserve in your relationship?

Most people would agree settling for less than you expect is the wrong way to enter a relationship. But how can you tell whether or not you have settled? Seems like a simple question Right? You may be surprised to learn that many women were not aware they had settled for less than they wanted and believed they deserved from a love partner. And this became clear to them only when they began to look for reasons why their relationships were not functioning smoothly.

How could this happen? How could a woman who is smart, successful, attractive, confident and vigilant about maintaining boundaries like most of the ones I spoke to, end up with a mate who falls short of her expectations? Because she is human and humans can make mistakes. And many such mistakes are made at a sub-conscious level. Yes! People sometimes settle without being aware that they are settling.

Here are five ways people can unknowingly settle for less than they want and expect.

1. Believing you are in love when in fact you are settling for an image rather than falling in love with a person.

2. Settling for someone whom your friends and family believe is ideal for you.

3. Settling in a relationship where sex is emotionally unfulfilling.

4. Settling for a mate because he/she is madly in love with you but you do not love him/her as much.

5. Settling for someone you hope to change after you’re married.

To avoid some of these mistakes, answer yes to the following before making your decision.

  • Have you defined who you are, what you want and what are your special qualities that make you different from anyone else? When you truly know yourself you can make more realistic relationship decisions.
  • Do you take full responsibility for your own happiness? – meaning you depend on yourself and no one else to make you happy.
  • Do you listen to your instincts? Your instincts are your first line of defense against danger. Whenever they tell you something is wrong, they are usually right.

If you compromise, you are careful not to give up your core values. Sure, compromise is sometimes necessary; it may even contribute to growth, both yours and the relationship’s. But you and only you must decide how far you want to go.

Article Source: Peter Hector

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